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November December 2007 > The First Drop
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The First Drop

By Jeffrey Klineman


Look, it’s been a long year. Rising gas prices are hurting distributors, the dollar is in such bad shape that in Canada it’s actually worth less than a dollar, and Clearly Canadian spokesman Steve Nash suffered a horrible endorsement injury when he chipped a tooth right before game time.

You don’t want to hear me prattle on about choosing the right products or making environmentally
conscious decisions, right? You just want to sit by the fire, crack a green tea energy drink, open up your Beverage Spectrum and take our first annual*….

2007 BEVERAGE NEWS QUIZ
*By annual, we mean, maybe including a little bit of the year before, too…

1. Upon receiving a $670 million investment from the Tata Tea Company, Glaceau founder Darius Bikoff referred to his longstanding group of independent beverage distributors as…
  a. “the Glaceau network”
b. “the Verizon network”
c. “the Teamsters”

2. Upon being bought by the Coca-Cola Co., Inc. for more than $4 billion, Glaceau products…
  a. Will no longer be allowed to be distributed by many members of the “Glaceau network,” resulting in numerous lawsuits being filed against the company
b. Were re-branded “Fruitopia”
c. Had their labels printed on dollar bills

3. This fall, a Rockstar Energy Drink brand ambassador was dismissed after…
  a. he failed to speak encouragingly of RockStar 21, even as it was being pulled from shelves
b. he hired a trade show booth model weighing in excess of 104 lbs.
c. he drove his official Rockstar truck under too low a bridge on the Long Island Expressway

4. Recently deceased Gatorade Inventor Dr. J. Robert Cade, while perfecting his product, once drank:
  a. Gator blood
b. Okefenokee Swamp Water
c. Urine

5. Recent reports about miracle ingredient açai revealed…
  a. Facial applications can cure freckles
b. Some of the native Brazilians who have long used it as a dietary staple can no longer afford it
c. It tastes a lot like cranberry juice

6. Beer makers are facing financial turbulence due to…
  a. a hops shortage
b. the planned release of the “Sex in the City” movie, which will drive everyone back to the Cosmopolitan
c. the revelation that there will not be a Led Zeppelin tour this year

7. Coca-Cola CEO Neville Isdell recently:
  a. Announced he was stepping aside for President Muhtar Kent
b. Revealed he is, indeed, a reader of this magazine
c. Laughed evilly when told he was being sued by “The Glaceau Network.”

8. Which of these companies did not file for bankruptcy this year?
  a. Bravo
b. LeNature’s
c. Universal

9. Anheuser-Busch has introduced a “Chelada” made with Budweiser or Bud Light and Clamato. According to Budweiser marketing executives, Clamato has a “little _____ of clam in every sip.”
  a. piece
b. dash
c. odor

10. Which of these is not a beverage?
  a. G2
b. C2
c. U2

11. Which of these is not a Monster Energy-owned brand?
  a. Monster Energy BFC
b. Java Monster Big Black
c. Subtle Monster Inoffensive

12. More than a year after being purchased by PepsiCo, Izze is now…
  a. A slightly larger brand than it was before being purchased by PepsiCo
b. Just another four letter word, like SoBe
c. Very, very quiet


When you’re done, have a great new year! We’ll see you on the other side. (answers on next page)

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